dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
