Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
