the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
