so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
