I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
time to smoke my breakfast
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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