Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize