Dual....:-)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
