we have pet lesbian snakes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
