Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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