I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
