Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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