i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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