they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just gift wrapped bread.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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