If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
