No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
