what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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