Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
