There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
