My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
