I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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