i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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