lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
