but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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