are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
