Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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