Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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