i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
