my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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