Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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