What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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