You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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