I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
