My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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