Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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