he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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