think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
