you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
