'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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