it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
