i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
