shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
