If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
