You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
