i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
