Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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