I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
