so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
