I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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