Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There are leaves in my underwear?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
