Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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