At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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