i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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