I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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