i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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