Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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