Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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