Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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