So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Couch. On fire.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
