why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
