This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize