Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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