it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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