You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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