a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
