i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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