Pants 0. Shit 1.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think your dad took our porno
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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