plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
