I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
