So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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