Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
